I will be trying to put Postivities on daily. A lot of self help authors say to repeat Postivities daily and put them in the present as if it is already a reality not in the future because the subconsious mind will keep what your working toward in the future. So I will be posting Postivities that you can repeat daily
Positivity
New opportunities are showing up daily.
"You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind."
Dale Carnegie
1888-1955, Speaker and Author
From the daily motivator
Free to choose
You do not have to keep making the same mistakes. You can choose to change. You do not have to keep being held back by the same fears and insecurities. You have the ability to move forward if you wish.
There is no good reason why you must settle for anything less than the very best that life has to offer. Anything is possible when you put your full commitment and the energy of your life into it.
The past has brought you to where you are, yet it has no power to hold you back. In each moment, you are free to choose your own direction.
Reach within yourself and connect with a guiding purpose that you know is right for you. Allow yourself to fully be the unique and beautiful person you are meant to be.
This day, this moment is a blank canvas upon which you are now able to paint. Fill it with the magnificent splendor that you know is yours to give.
-- Ralph Marston
Joke
Science Lesson
Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron.
Now it was question time, and she asked, "My name begins with the letter 'M' and I pick up things. What am I?" A little boy on the front row proudly said, "You're a mother!"
Friday, August 3, 2007
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Positive Thought for the day
I will be trying to put Postivities on daily. A lot of self help authors say to repeat Postivities daily and put them in the present as if it is already a reality not in the future because the subconsious mind will keep what your working toward in the future. So I will be posting Postivities that you can repeat daily
Positivity
I deserve all good that life has to offer.
"How you handle or mishandle your money tells us who you are and, more important, it tells YOU who you are. Your priorities, passions, goals, and fears are shown clearly in the flow of your money. Your value system, or lack of one causes money to flow around you, past you, or to you. When money is in your possession, what you do with it screams loudly who you are."
-- Dave Ramsey
From the daily motivator
Seek to give
Whatever you desire for yourself, desire it for others as well. That will help to take you beyond the constraining influence of your ego.There is nothing of any value to be gained by taking from others. For anything you take away from someone else can just as easily be taken from you.
Instead, choose to become the living embodiment of that which you wish to have. Give energy and focus and action to your dreams, and those dreams will come to life all around you.
The more people who benefit from your positive thoughts and efforts, the more quickly those efforts will bring valuable results. To experience great abundance, be a channel through which that abundance can flow.
Make a positive difference that extends into the lives around you. Create value that goes beyond you.
It is by giving that you make room to receive even more. Seek to give what you wish to have, and it will surely become real for you.
-- Ralph Marston
Joke
Two-by-fours
Some men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the men walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."
The clerk asked, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"
The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck. He returned and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-four."
The clerk said, "All right. How long do you need them?" The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check."
After a while, the customer returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house."
Positivity
I deserve all good that life has to offer.
"How you handle or mishandle your money tells us who you are and, more important, it tells YOU who you are. Your priorities, passions, goals, and fears are shown clearly in the flow of your money. Your value system, or lack of one causes money to flow around you, past you, or to you. When money is in your possession, what you do with it screams loudly who you are."
-- Dave Ramsey
From the daily motivator
Seek to give
Whatever you desire for yourself, desire it for others as well. That will help to take you beyond the constraining influence of your ego.There is nothing of any value to be gained by taking from others. For anything you take away from someone else can just as easily be taken from you.
Instead, choose to become the living embodiment of that which you wish to have. Give energy and focus and action to your dreams, and those dreams will come to life all around you.
The more people who benefit from your positive thoughts and efforts, the more quickly those efforts will bring valuable results. To experience great abundance, be a channel through which that abundance can flow.
Make a positive difference that extends into the lives around you. Create value that goes beyond you.
It is by giving that you make room to receive even more. Seek to give what you wish to have, and it will surely become real for you.
-- Ralph Marston
Joke
Two-by-fours
Some men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the men walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."
The clerk asked, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"
The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck. He returned and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-four."
The clerk said, "All right. How long do you need them?" The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check."
After a while, the customer returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house."
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Positive Thought for the day
I will be trying to put Postivities on daily. A lot of self help authors say to repeat Postivities daily and put them in the present as if it is already a reality not in the future because the subconsious mind will keep what your working toward in the future. So I will be posting Postivities that you can repeat daily
Positivity
I have a clear vision of what I want to accomplish.
"I've already got all the money I'll ever need -- if I die by four o'clock this afternoon."
-- Henry Youngman
From the daily motivator
Allow enjoyment
Find something to enjoy and to sincerely value about whatever you are doing. And you will add power and effectiveness to your efforts.Realize that anything is enjoyable to you solely because you have decided for it to be enjoyable. It's a decision that can create much value.
Instead of fighting against your own actions, give energy to them. Instead of making yourself miserable, allow yourself to enjoy.
It's great when you can make positive plans and enjoy following through on them. Yet even when things don't turn out as planned, you can find something to value and enjoy.
Learn to find enjoyment in life's surprises, and those surprises can yield great treasure. Choose to enjoy those times when you get knocked off track, and you'll discover the quickest way to get back on track.
You are at your best when truly enjoying life. So allow enjoyment to bring out your best in every situation.
-- Ralph Marston
Joke
NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN
ALL ARE WELCOME OPEN TO MEN ONLY
_______________________________________
Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants. The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course including:
_______________________________________
DAY ONE
HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step by step guide with slide presentation
TOILET ROLLS – DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Round Table Discussion
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practising with hamper (Pictures and Graphics)
DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among the panel of experts.
LOSS OF VIRILITY
Losing the remote control to your significant other – Help line and support groups.
LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while shouting “It’s not there!”, You’ve moved it” or We’ve run out!” – Open forum.
_____________________________________________
DAY TWO
EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role-play.
HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO
YOUR HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation.
REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from one man who did.
IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation.
LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
Online class and role playing.
HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.
REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU’RE GOING
TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class.
GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL
THE TIME
Individual counsellors available.
Positivity
I have a clear vision of what I want to accomplish.
"I've already got all the money I'll ever need -- if I die by four o'clock this afternoon."
-- Henry Youngman
From the daily motivator
Allow enjoyment
Find something to enjoy and to sincerely value about whatever you are doing. And you will add power and effectiveness to your efforts.Realize that anything is enjoyable to you solely because you have decided for it to be enjoyable. It's a decision that can create much value.
Instead of fighting against your own actions, give energy to them. Instead of making yourself miserable, allow yourself to enjoy.
It's great when you can make positive plans and enjoy following through on them. Yet even when things don't turn out as planned, you can find something to value and enjoy.
Learn to find enjoyment in life's surprises, and those surprises can yield great treasure. Choose to enjoy those times when you get knocked off track, and you'll discover the quickest way to get back on track.
You are at your best when truly enjoying life. So allow enjoyment to bring out your best in every situation.
-- Ralph Marston
Joke
NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN
ALL ARE WELCOME OPEN TO MEN ONLY
_______________________________________
Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants. The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course including:
_______________________________________
DAY ONE
HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step by step guide with slide presentation
TOILET ROLLS – DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Round Table Discussion
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practising with hamper (Pictures and Graphics)
DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among the panel of experts.
LOSS OF VIRILITY
Losing the remote control to your significant other – Help line and support groups.
LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while shouting “It’s not there!”, You’ve moved it” or We’ve run out!” – Open forum.
_____________________________________________
DAY TWO
EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role-play.
HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO
YOUR HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation.
REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from one man who did.
IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation.
LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
Online class and role playing.
HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.
REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU’RE GOING
TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class.
GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL
THE TIME
Individual counsellors available.
Thomas Edison failed 9,999 times to create, the light bulb
Thomas Edison failed 9,999 times to create the light bulb. Just imagine if he had given up after the 9,999th time. A journalist asked him: "How does it feel to have failed 9,999 times." Edison said "I haven't failed, I have had great success, finding 9,999 ways that do not work."
THE BEST MEDICINE IS ...
THE BEST MEDICINE IS ...
LAUGHTER!
Really, no joke.
It's the best exercise there is for your facial muscles, belly, heart and circulatory system, immune system, nervous system, endocrine system, digestion. It's the easiest (and most fun!) way to lose weight.
Laughing just 15 minutes a day will reduce your cholesterol, lower your blood pressure, reduce your pain levels, and use up enough calories to shave off 5 pounds a year of extra weight -- all while shaping up your abdominal muscles.
Better yet, you don't even have to try! Statistically, the average American adult already laughs 15 times a day. Children beat us hands-down at 200 times a day. Is this a hint to take yourself a little less seriously?
Here`s something else about laughter
"It has been scientifically proven that your body cannot tell the difference between pretend laughter and spontaneous laughter," writes Dr. Kataria in his book, Laugh for No Reason. "Pretend laughter becomes genuine through eye contact and the contagious nature of laughter."
Mark Twain understood the need for laughter when he wrote: "The human race has only one really effective weapon, and that's laughter. The moment it arises, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place."
LAUGHTER!
Really, no joke.
It's the best exercise there is for your facial muscles, belly, heart and circulatory system, immune system, nervous system, endocrine system, digestion. It's the easiest (and most fun!) way to lose weight.
Laughing just 15 minutes a day will reduce your cholesterol, lower your blood pressure, reduce your pain levels, and use up enough calories to shave off 5 pounds a year of extra weight -- all while shaping up your abdominal muscles.
Better yet, you don't even have to try! Statistically, the average American adult already laughs 15 times a day. Children beat us hands-down at 200 times a day. Is this a hint to take yourself a little less seriously?
Here`s something else about laughter
"It has been scientifically proven that your body cannot tell the difference between pretend laughter and spontaneous laughter," writes Dr. Kataria in his book, Laugh for No Reason. "Pretend laughter becomes genuine through eye contact and the contagious nature of laughter."
Mark Twain understood the need for laughter when he wrote: "The human race has only one really effective weapon, and that's laughter. The moment it arises, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place."
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Positive Thought for the day
I will be trying to put Postivities on daily. A lot of self help authors say to repeat Postivities daily and put them in the present as if it is already a reality not in the future because the subconsious mind will keep what your working toward in the future. So I will be posting Postivities that you can repeat daily
Positivity
I feel motivated and ready to take action.
"Nothing is too good to be true. Nothing is too wonderful to happen. Nothing is too good to last."
-- Florence Scovel Shinn
From the daily motivator
The power of forgiveness
Inflicting pain on someone else cannot do anything to ease your own pain. When you have been hurt, there is nothing to be gained by passing the hurt on to another.When others have caused you pain, give forgiveness. Sincere forgiveness is the fastest way to begin moving positively forward again.
Forgiveness does not mean that you agree with or condone whatever has been done. It means that you no longer choose to let those past actions hold you back.
Your willingness to forgive does not mean that you are willing to be hurt again. In fact, forgiveness frees you to take positive steps that will make you stronger and much less vulnerable.
When you feel the desire for revenge, stop and remind yourself that there is a much more powerful response. Forgiveness is the way to put yourself in the best possible position.
Can you find the strength to forgive? Forgive, and you will surely grow stronger
-- Ralph Marston
Joke sort of
OBITUARY
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Panadol, sun lotion or a Band Aid to a student , but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust;his wife, Discretion; his daughter, responsibility; and his son,Reason.He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
Positivity
I feel motivated and ready to take action.
"Nothing is too good to be true. Nothing is too wonderful to happen. Nothing is too good to last."
-- Florence Scovel Shinn
From the daily motivator
The power of forgiveness
Inflicting pain on someone else cannot do anything to ease your own pain. When you have been hurt, there is nothing to be gained by passing the hurt on to another.When others have caused you pain, give forgiveness. Sincere forgiveness is the fastest way to begin moving positively forward again.
Forgiveness does not mean that you agree with or condone whatever has been done. It means that you no longer choose to let those past actions hold you back.
Your willingness to forgive does not mean that you are willing to be hurt again. In fact, forgiveness frees you to take positive steps that will make you stronger and much less vulnerable.
When you feel the desire for revenge, stop and remind yourself that there is a much more powerful response. Forgiveness is the way to put yourself in the best possible position.
Can you find the strength to forgive? Forgive, and you will surely grow stronger
-- Ralph Marston
Joke sort of
OBITUARY
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Panadol, sun lotion or a Band Aid to a student , but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust;his wife, Discretion; his daughter, responsibility; and his son,Reason.He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Positive Thought for the day
I will be trying to put Postivities on daily. A lot of self help authors say to repeat Postivities daily and put them in the present as if it is already a reality not in the future because the subconsious mind will keep what your working toward in the future. So I will be posting Postivities that you can repeat daily
Positivity
I have unlimited energy, creativity and drive.
One of the secrets of a long and fruitful life is to forgive everybody, everything, every night before you go to bed.
-Bernard M. Baruch
To add to the above statement you are included in the everbody. Forgive yourself. Dont beat yourself up mentally.
From the daily motivator
Practice patience
People who cause you problems also give you something of real and lasting positive value. They provide you with the opportunity to practice and build your patience.Patience is a profoundly powerful and useful thing to have. It can bring real value into your life in almost any situation.
With patience, you can achieve a thousand times more than what you could achieve without it. With patience, you can listen, learn, work and prosper instead of lashing out at every frustration.
Patience enables you to see and to experience rich treasures that you otherwise would have missed completely. Patience gives you the ability to forge deep and meaningful connections with others.
Practice patience, and you avoid costly careless mistakes. Live with patience, and you have the persistence to create great things.
Be truly thankful for each opportunity you receive to strengthen your patience. For it will surely bring new richness to your life.
-- Ralph Marston
Joke
Gripe sheet
After every flight, pilots fill out a form, called a gripe sheet which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some maintenance complaints submitted by pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, the airline these came from is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
Pilot: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Engineers: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
Good Im glad they almost replaced that tire.
Pilot: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
Engineers: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
Aww why not
Pilot: Something loose in cockpit.
Engineers: Something tightened in cockpit.
Good cant have something loose in the cockpit
Pilot: Dead bugs on windshield.
Engineers: Live bugs on back-order.
Oh good need those live bugs
Pilot: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
Engineers: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
Aww why not
Pilot: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
Engineers: Evidence removed.
Good cant have that evidence around
Pilot: DME volume unbelievably loud.
Engineers: DME volume set to more believable level.
Well its about time
Pilot: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Engineers: That's what friction locks are for.
Hmmm you dont say
Pilot: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
Engineers: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
No really
Pilot: Suspected crack in windshield.
Engineers: Suspect you're right.
Hmmm
Pilot: Number 3 engine missing.
Engineers: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
Oh good cant have them engines missing
Pilot: Aircraft handles funny.
Engineers: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
Oh good cant have funny acting aircrafts
Pilot: Target radar hums.
Engineers: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
Good I wonder what song is playing
Pilot: Mouse in cockpit.
Engineers: Cat installed.
Good they can always use a cat
Pilot: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
Engineers: Took hammer away from midget
hmmmmmmmmmm I wonder if that midget got any shots in before they got that hammer away from him LOL
Positivity
I have unlimited energy, creativity and drive.
One of the secrets of a long and fruitful life is to forgive everybody, everything, every night before you go to bed.
-Bernard M. Baruch
To add to the above statement you are included in the everbody. Forgive yourself. Dont beat yourself up mentally.
From the daily motivator
Practice patience
People who cause you problems also give you something of real and lasting positive value. They provide you with the opportunity to practice and build your patience.Patience is a profoundly powerful and useful thing to have. It can bring real value into your life in almost any situation.
With patience, you can achieve a thousand times more than what you could achieve without it. With patience, you can listen, learn, work and prosper instead of lashing out at every frustration.
Patience enables you to see and to experience rich treasures that you otherwise would have missed completely. Patience gives you the ability to forge deep and meaningful connections with others.
Practice patience, and you avoid costly careless mistakes. Live with patience, and you have the persistence to create great things.
Be truly thankful for each opportunity you receive to strengthen your patience. For it will surely bring new richness to your life.
-- Ralph Marston
Joke
Gripe sheet
After every flight, pilots fill out a form, called a gripe sheet which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some maintenance complaints submitted by pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, the airline these came from is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
Pilot: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Engineers: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
Good Im glad they almost replaced that tire.
Pilot: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
Engineers: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
Aww why not
Pilot: Something loose in cockpit.
Engineers: Something tightened in cockpit.
Good cant have something loose in the cockpit
Pilot: Dead bugs on windshield.
Engineers: Live bugs on back-order.
Oh good need those live bugs
Pilot: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
Engineers: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
Aww why not
Pilot: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
Engineers: Evidence removed.
Good cant have that evidence around
Pilot: DME volume unbelievably loud.
Engineers: DME volume set to more believable level.
Well its about time
Pilot: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Engineers: That's what friction locks are for.
Hmmm you dont say
Pilot: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
Engineers: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
No really
Pilot: Suspected crack in windshield.
Engineers: Suspect you're right.
Hmmm
Pilot: Number 3 engine missing.
Engineers: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
Oh good cant have them engines missing
Pilot: Aircraft handles funny.
Engineers: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
Oh good cant have funny acting aircrafts
Pilot: Target radar hums.
Engineers: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
Good I wonder what song is playing
Pilot: Mouse in cockpit.
Engineers: Cat installed.
Good they can always use a cat
Pilot: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
Engineers: Took hammer away from midget
hmmmmmmmmmm I wonder if that midget got any shots in before they got that hammer away from him LOL
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